Archive for A-Ha Moments

Birth Control Theory

New theory.  Think this is it!  I’m sick of having theories.  I just want to be normal…not always searching to figure out why I have a symptom.  This new theory may very well be the reason for SO many of my symptoms, if not ALL of them!

I was a normal female when I was a teenager.  No mood swings.  No acne.  No depression.  Well, maybe I was abnormal 😉  I decided to start on birth control at age 18..a girl’s got to be careful!  That’s when symptoms started appearing.  But each one came on so subtly, that I didn’t put it all together…until this past weekend!  After another mood swing, my husband said…HORMONES!  And I decided to not go all CRAZY on him because I was tired.  So I went to bed and slept on it. 

Took out the laptop first thing in the morning.  Decided to look up stuff on hormones.  One thing let to another thing, and before I knew it I may have found the answer!  BIRTH CONTROL!

What the F?!  Seriously!  Did I do this all to myself?  I’m afraid I did!  All this suffering and searching…

So I spent the week going back and forth in my mind.  What do I do? 

It’s time.  It’s time to go au natural! 

I’m scared! 

Why am I scared?  I’m married.  I’m more ready than I ever have been in case there’s an oops moment and the rubber breaks.

I’m scared because birth control has been with me my entire adult life.  I don’t know what me is like without birth control other than who I used to be as a teenager.  But we change as we age.  Will this change me?  How?  Will I be less or more moody?  Will my acne go away or get worse?  Will I gain or lose weight?  WILL I GET PREGNANT?  Can I get pregnant? 

I have spent SO many years trying to NOT be moody, manage my hormones…be someone my husband likes.  It’s been hard.  Will it be hard anymore?  Will I have to try and not be moody?  Will this part of my life go away?  Oh I hope so!  I hope I turn into the female I used to be!

Usually this kind of thing wouldn’t bother me…but THIS is bothering me!  Why am I so attached?

My IUD and I go separate ways tomorrow.  I think one reason why I’m having such a hard time with this is because it’s one step closer to starting a family.  I’m not ready.  Who ever is?  I thought I was getting closer.  I think I am closer, but this is another stake in the ground and it is scaring me.

Tomorrow is the first day of getting me back.  I hope I like her!

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It’s been a year and a half since my birth control and I have parted ways.  Thought it would be nice to weigh-in and give an update.

The BEST decision of my life!!!!

I will NEVER EVER go back on birth control.  I believe my body has finally gotten rid of the fake hormones.  Although, my menstrual cycles are not like they were before I started on birth control when I was 18.  They are extremely light with one heavy day.  Only lasting about 4 days.  From what I have read, a woman’s body changes over time, so I have to believe that the lifecycle of a woman’s body is the reason for the change, and hoping it’s not due to the birth control use. 

I was worried about a little swimmer getting past the goalie.  Didn’t happen…good/bad?  I don’t know.  I wanted to have an unplanned HE SHOOTS HE SCORES to remove the fear that I may not be able to get pregnant.  Now, we have had 2 unsuccessful attempts at scoring and I have the awful thoughts. 

As far as “Did I find ME?”…yes I did!  I’m back!  My moodiness is at a minimum, although I do have my moments.  They are much more controlled and less frequent and usually the result of a whirlwind of reasons and not just hormones.

My acne…VERY manageable.  I usually will only deal with a small breakout from my ensuing cycle or eating too much dairy.

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54 Days and still SUGAR FREE!

After spending my 20s in poor health, visiting too many doctors, complaining all the time, not happy, and overweight, I decided enough was enough!  I was going to take control of my life and health!  So I GAVE UP SUGAR!

Sugar is in almost everything…which means changing my diet meant changing my life too.  My life needed to get simplier if I was going to be successful at this endeavor.  I had to make ME a priority or this wasn’t going to work.

My first attempt at grocery shopping for a sugar free lifestyle left a very empty shopping cart 😉  I found that I could only really buy meat, poultry, eggs, veggies, some fruit, some cheese, and surprisingly butter and cream.  Bypassing the bread and bakery…very, very hard.  As I began this endeavor, my new lifestyle looked similar to the Atkins for Life method.  So I read the book.  The book made sense.

The first week I went thru sugar detox.  SUCKED!  But I made it thru and could feel my body changing.  My body and joint pain were gone!  The longer I stayed sugar free, the better I felt.  My acne started to clear up, nasal congestion was getting better, moods got better, energy increased, happier, headaches went away, sleeping better, tastes changed, and my sex life improved too!

Could sugar really be the cause of ALL my health problems…we shall see in time.  I turn 29 this month…vow to enjoy my last year in my 20s.  AND enjoy my 30s!

The first month of being sugar free has left me 15 pounds lighter!  A nice change.  The weight loss could be the reason for some of my improved health conditions.  Started this new endeavor at 164.5 pounds. Height is 5’5″.  Dropped to 147 pounds.

Was stuck at 147 pounds with no change for 2 weeks.  Obviously I was very happy with this weight loss, and wanted more!  I began exercising and weight lifting and still no change!  After having what my husband called a roid rage (I’m not on steriods of course), I decided to do some research.  Found out how bad nitrates are and how they stall weight loss…ok, we are getting somewhere.  So, now I’m nitrate free too.    No more turkey bacon ;(

I had a heart to heart with myself.  I have wanted to be buff, strong, healthy for many years, I just couldn’t get myself to stay the course.  I knew that I had to be patience…change comes with time, determination, and consistency.  I had to shift my focus.  I couldn’t be caught up with getting my body to a specific weight.  I had to focus on my body fat.  I had no idea what weight my ideal body would be.  So I set my first goal to get down to 19% body fat. 

I have found myself over the past 54 days in new territory.  In the past when attempting to get healthy, I have given up at the first sign of a challenge.  For some reason this time is different.  I can only chalk it up to the fact that I have broken the addiction to sugar in my head.  I have gained control of my addiction.  The detox worked.  I have will power!  Each day I learn something new about myself.  Thus the reason for this blog…to keep me honest to myself and hopefully help someone else who is addicted to sugar and not living their life to the fullest.

The best part of the past 54 days is that I have learned to make ME a priority.  I take the time out of the day to exercise, to make myself food, to enjoy time by myself AND with my husband and doggies.  I have been thru the gammit of emotions, and learned so many things about myself.  All to be blogged about in the future…